A podcast dedicated to dismantle gender based violence (GBV)
Reclaim Your Power – Mallence & Marie unite to advocate against gender based violence by sharing their own stories and empowering tools through impactful conversations
THE INVISIBLE CAGE with Dori Varga
in this episode, Marie, Mallence and their guest, Dori Varga, delve into the concept of ‘the invisible cage’. Coined by Mallence, it defines the stage where individuals in abusive relationships become acutely conscious of their situation. Termed the invisible cage due to the heavy burden of shame and trauma, it’s not denial that keeps them in the relationship, but overwhelming fear and shame that make them feel trapped, unable to break free.
The Grooming Process
Grooming across different cultures and circumstances with our first guest, Dr. Khumoetsile Moetse. The grooming of a victim is performed by predators across all categories of abuse and extortion: from financial fraud, romantic fraud to physical or sexual abuse, predators have a rule book by which they operate. Understanding and recognizing the mechanisms behind grooming keeps you safe from falling victim of such crimes or at the very least keeps you alert to lower the chances of becoming a victim. Many times victims and survivors do not recognize that they are being groomed, as this process is done slowly and skillfully. Victims typically realize what has happened once the threat becomes imminent – often life threatening. Various psychological tactics are applied that will prompt the victim to let down their guard and become increasingly open for the abuse. Psychological defragmentation of a victim is every groomers approach. The forms in which this defragmentation takes place may vary, based on culture, nature of the crime committed and the groomers intent.
Recognizing Red Flags
We often ask ourselves: “How did I get here?” or “How did she end up in that situation or relationship?” We wonder: “Didn’t she see this coming?” or “Did she ignore the signs?” In order to bring understanding to those who pose these questions, we assess the techniques and dynamics that often distract from recognizing red flags in the early stages of a situation or relationship. Abusers, for the most part, aren’t novices when it comes to abuse and apply techniques that have worked for them in the past. Hence when trying to understand a situation in which abuse occurred, or when going as far as judging survivors of abuse, the advantage of someone who enters an interaction or relationship with the agenda of abuse must be factored in. The road to abuse is paved with many facets. It is often a short path that is crossed too fast to even allow enough time to understand it. At times, it is so long and slow that one forgets where it began and where it was supposed to lead. Understanding is an integral component in the process of healing. By dissecting each part of the process that leads to abuse, we aim to shine a light onto a subject that is often blurry and shrouded with shame.
Every Woman Has A Story
By definition, GBV is violence against women and girls and it is one of the most prevalent human rights violations in the world. It knows no social, economic or national boundaries.
In this first episode, you get introduced to Marie and Mallence. They talk about how they first met and what compelled them to create Reclaim Your Power. You will hear how it is above all a labor of love, filled with personal experiences, introspection and research. Reclaim Your Power is raw, at times challenging but overall it is a mind opening experience of our collective journey of healing. Marie and Mallence share some alarming global facts that are shocking, proving just how urgent and important it is to actively address and dismantle GBV in all its layers and facets across cultures.